2019 Atomic Advent Calendar Gift Ideas, Day 4

The Polaris Nuclear Sub was a bargain at only $6.98. It’s guaranteed to provide hours of imaginative play in the sturdily constructed 200 lb. test material.

Like most of the things you could buy in the back of a comic book, the Polaris Nuclear Sub was long on description, mystery, and marketing. And once delivered, usually disappointing — comes with real working torpedoes and rockets! Real periscope! Electrically lit control panel!

It’s just that the ad never mentions that it’s a play set made of cardboard and plastic parts that you need to assemble. So nobody really got to submerge to 20,000 leagues, shoot Polaris missiles for the glory of the Cold War, destroy enemy battleships, or celebrate with the Sea Monkeys among the bubbles of the deep.